


I Hope I Can Love You (as much as I want)

by babycomebaek



Series: A Different Place, A Different Time [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Character Death, M/M, Prince!Baekhyun, knight!chanyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-18 04:04:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13673907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babycomebaek/pseuds/babycomebaek
Summary: He could have more if he wanted, maybe if he asked, if he took a risk, if he got rid of the fear just like how he always did before charging into the battlefield.And yet with all these victories he took home, all the wounds he proudly embraced - there will always be a battle inside Chanyeol's heart that no amount of armor would convince him to face just yet.





	I Hope I Can Love You (as much as I want)

**Author's Note:**

> Bit of game of thrones references scattered around if you're a fan :)  
> Title was taken from the direct English translation of 'Forgetting You' by Davichi (from Scarlet Heart Ryeo)

I.

The first time Chanyeol saw Baekhyun, it was in his father's funeral. Regarded as one of the highest knights of the kingdom, the death of Chanyeol's father was a devastating loss not only for the kingdom itself, but for its ruler, whose friendship was not unknown to many.

The king had two sons, Byun Baekbeom and the younger one, Byun Baekhyun. He had met Baekbeom a couple of times back when his father would let him tag along inside the castle, but it was only during the final ceremony that he had laid eyes on Baekhyun.

The king introduced Baekhyun to Chanyeol later that night, Baekhyun clutching on his father's robes as he reached out his hand and shook Chanyeol's.

That same night, the king announced to the court that Chanyeol would be living with them from now on, and shall be trained as a knight, just like his father, when he's in the right age to hold a sword. Little do they know, that Chanyeol had spent years training with his father, and it was only a matter of time before he would show the whole kingdom what he's capable of.

One night, Chanyeol was awoken by the sound of a frantic knock on his door. When he opened it, he saw Baekhyun standing in his sleeping robes, marks of tears on his eyes and a pillow around his arm.

"What happened?" Chanyeol asked as he tried to pull Baekhyun to his room, but Baekhyun resisted, pulling him back with force.

"A spider," He sniffed.

"A what?"

"A spider." Baekhyun repeated, a little louder. "There's a spider in my room. Please kill it."

Chanyeol wanted to ask why Baekhyun didn't ask his father for help, but he understood the embarrassment it would be bring for Baekhyun if he, a prince himself, despite being a child the same age as his, is afraid of spiders and can't rid of it himself.

"Come on," Baekhyun tugged his hand, the first contact they ever had since Chanyeol started living in the castle. "Aren't you a knight? You're supposed to protect me!"

Something inside Chanyeol sparked. Ever since he saw his father in his full suit and armor, the sound of people cheering on his side from a successfully won battle, Chanyeol never wanted anything else but to wear the same thing and protect the kingdom he grew up with and loved.

And now, the prince himself had considered his position.

"Wait here," Chanyeol gave a gentle tap on Baekhyun's shoulder and ran back towards his bed. He kneeled down and reached at the farthest corner under his bed for a fully-crafted wooden sword his father had given him.

Baekhyun's eyes widen, wiping the snot under his nose before giving Chanyeol a toothy grin. "Wow, you really are knight!"

Chanyeol smirked. "Of course! Now let's go find that spider!"

Their footsteps and laughter echoed through the castle, breaking the peaceful silence of the night as their shadows loomed side by side under the bright moonlight.

 

 

II.

Baekhyun was sitting on the window sill and reading a book when Chanyeol opened the door to his chambers.

The prince looked up to him, barely giving him any acknowledgment as he went back to immersing himself on a book that Chanyeol never saw before.

Chanyeol closed the door behind him and skipped the line of golden chests scattered around the room. He glanced towards the jewelries of different colors and shapes laid atop the mattress, shining from the rays outside Baekhyun's window. Across the king size bed were a pile of silk and robes spread on the carpeted floor.

Chanyeol shook his head at the sight of the mess before finally reaching where Baekhyun was sitting. He skimmed the room again before leaning his shoulder against the wall, watching the prince went on with his reading.

"Anything here that you liked?"

"This," Baekhyun lifted his book above his face, the title 'Poetries', written in gold ink. "The only good one out of all that pile of rubbish."

As harsh as it sounds, Chanyeol knew Baekhyun well enough that extravagant gifts never really caught the prince's attention. He preferred things that gold coins couldn't buy - the ever growing knowledge he got from reading books, appreciating art, and studying history, rather than to embellish himself with empty gifts that gave him little to no happiness at all.

Ever since the night Chanyeol got rid of the spider (he never told Baekhyun to this day he didn't actually kill it), the two had been attached to the hip, and even got closer when Chanyeol got the King's blessing to be Baekhyun's personal knight - a special request coming from the prince himself.

The prince spent most of his time inside the chambers, reading as many books as he can within a day. If the weather was good, he'd be outside the garden, sketching while his older brother took more of the royal duties, busying himself outside the castle to spend time with the kingdom's people.

There were only few events where the kingdom was able to see the prince similar to today's occasion: Baekhyun's birthday.

Baekhyun admitted that if given the choice, he'd rather not show his face to anyone so he could sneak outside the castle without getting recognized, go on an adventure and explore the lands and seas surrounding them.

Of course, Chanyeol's duty as a knight was to not let that happen.

"Here," Chanyeol stretched his arm and dangled a pouch a few inches away from Baekhyun's face. "Happy Birthday, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun's eyes fluttered, and Chanyeol watched his lips turn into a full-blown smile as the prince took the pouch away from him.

Baekhyun hastily untied the string around it, tongue slightly sticking out between his teeth. With his palm open, Baekhyun shook the pouch, a necklace landing on his hand.

"I know you've always wanted to visit The Eyrie," Chanyeol begun, "And as much as I would want to indulge you into sneaking you out and taking you there myself, I think we both know we won't get past the gate without your father dragging us back."

Baekhyun remained silent as he examined the stone on his fingertips, but Chanyeol knew he was listening. He walked towards Baekhyun, and gently took the necklace from his hands before prompting the prince to face him. Baekhyun quickly complied, removing his legs from the porch and sitting up straight, back against the window to look up at Chanyeol who was now standing in front of him.

"They call this the Heavenstone," Chanyeol said, unhooking the clasp between the two strings. "This can only be found inside the cave atop the highest mountain in Arryn, where they say the clouds and even the gods touch it."

Baekhyun leaned forward, brushing his hair on Chanyeol's chest guard, as he offered his nape and Chanyeol placing the necklace around it. "They said it's the closest thing to touching the heaven."

With the sound of the hooks joining together, Chanyeol tilted his head down, smiling at the sight of the stone perfectly aligned on Baekhyun's chest.

"I don't think anyone could top this gift, Chanyeol," Baekhyun said, lifting the stone and then looking up at the knight behind his ashen hair.

Baekhyun's other hand reached for Chanyeol's wrist. "Thank you."

The spark he first felt when the prince knocked on his door had grown stronger through the years, watching and staying by Baekhyun's side.

Chanyeol thought it was a normal thing friends share, but as he grew up, he realized it was something else - something unexplainable, he couldn't put it into words.

It was distinct feeling. A painful yet satisfying tinge in his chest whenever the prince does something, specifically on Chanyeol.

There were instances that Chanyeol almost _confessed,_ almost asked, if the feeling was mutual - if it was something both of them silently shared. The words never came out of his mouth no matter how many opportunities had presented itself, telling himself he was content by the way things were going between him and the prince.

Content with the way Baekhyun threads his fingers on his hair while Chanyeol rests on his lap, listening to Baekhyun's stories he had read. Content with the way Baekhyun feels next to him in his bed, when the prince sneaks out of his chambers because he couldn't sleep. Content with the idea that as long as he's alive, as long as his vow remains unchanged of protecting the prince, the two of them can stay together.

He could have more if he wanted, maybe if he asked, if he took a risk, if he got rid of the fear just like how he always did before charging into the battlefield.

And yet with all these victories he took home, all the wounds he proudly embraced - there will always be a battle inside Chanyeol's heart that no amount of armor would convince him to face just yet.

 

 

III.

The first time Chanyeol saw Baekhyun angry  was also the first time Chanyeol realized the world was not as ordinary as he thought it would be.

They were inside the banquet hall, a long table at the center, with the King on the far end of it, Baekbeom on his right, and Baekhyun on his left, and the rest of the counsel filled the empty chairs next to them.

Chanyeol could only see Baekhyun's back from where he was stood with the other knights on the other side of the hall.

They went on with their usual meeting and Chanyeol could already imagine the bored expression plastered on Baekhyun's face, seeing him play around with his fork, prodding the beef on his platter.

The same fork dropped on the wooden floor with the king announcing Baekhyun's betrothal to Kim Taeyeon, from King's Landing.

Chanyeol swallowed hard from the sudden news, but he knew this day would come.

"And have you ever thought of asking my opinion about this?" Baekhyun hissed, hands tight on the table cloth.

The King only shook his head. "I've met Taeyeon when I stayed in the citadel, Baekhyun. She shares the same interest of art and literature like you. I know that the two of you are destined by gods to be together."

"To hell with the gods," Baekhyun retorted, "And to hell with this marriage." The prince stood up, the sound of his chair scratching against the floor drowned from the disapproving and hushed noise inside the hall.

Chanyeol quickly took a step forward, alerting the knights behind him as his eyes roamed around the room.

"Baekhyun, sit down," the King implored. "This marriage will be for the good of our kingdom."

"How about me then? How about what's good for me?"

"Baekhyun. Let's not talk about this -"

"No, father. We'll talk about this now."

"Baekhyun," Baekbeom was also standing up, and Chanyeol could see the worry in his eyes rather than anger. "You need to calm down."

"Shut up, brother," Baekhyun hissed. "I'm not like you. I'm not going to follow every single thing father tells me to do."

"Baekhyun, enough!" The king roared as he stood up hands slamming against the table, silencing the growing noise inside the banquet hall. "You will not disrespect me and your brother like this!"

"I should be the one saying that! You never me asked what I want-" Chanyeol heard a faint crackling sound, "You never cared if I'm happy in this god-awful prison-", another sound, and this time Chanyeol was sure it wasn't his imagination as the people inside the hall became aware of it, looking around as well, "You never cared for me at all-"

The king reached out for his son the same time Baekbeom called out for his brother. "Baekhyun-"

"Don't touch me!"

A blinding white light filled the room, and not even Chanyeol's arm shielding his eyes could make him see anything. He heard Baekbeom and the King's voice call out to Baekhyun as the light grew even brighter.

"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol shouted.

And with that, the white light started to subside.

Everyone, including Chanyeol who was already standing few steps from Baekhyun, watched the rays of light went smaller and smaller until it turned into a ball around Baekhyun's hand, completely disappearing in a blink of an eye.

"Sorcery," The man who sat few seats from Baekhyun muttered, but it was enough to take the attention of everyone in the room. "I knew it, you had your mother's blood in you. A witch, a _monster-_ "

Chanyeol was quick to unsheathe his sword, pointing its tip on the man's throat. "You take that back now."

The man's eyes blinked, but his expression remained unfazed. "Is this what you've been hiding in this castle, my lord? And you're even planning to let him marry the daughter of King Heechul? You must be mad."

"Please, my lord. We need to calm down-" The king said as he approached the two.

"Calm down?" The man attempted to take a step, but Chanyeol made sure he stay where he was. "You expect us to calm down after what we saw with our own eyes? Your son's a threat to the kingdom! He must be exiled!"

Chanyeol took a step forward, tightening the grip around his sword. He could sink the blade in and make a prime example of what they shouldn't say in front of the king - _in front of Baekhyun._ But the King was quick enough to stand between them, putting a hand on Chanyeol's sword.

"My king-"

"Take Baekhyun back to his chambers. Stay there with him, don't go out unless I knock on your door."

"But-"

"Chanyeol, this is an order."

Chanyeol drew his sword back before sinking it a little bit further until a trickle of blood crawls down the man's throat. "You're under the mercy of my king. But belive me when I say this, the next time I see you, I'll pull out your tongue and cut it inch by inch, until your apology satisfies the prince."

"How dare you!" The man shouted, wrapping his hands around his neck.

When Chanyeol turned around, Baekhyun was still in the same position, staring blankly on the floor.

Chanyeol made a quick glance to Baekbeom, and the other prince gave him a nod.

Something about this was off. The king and the prince looked rather calm from what just happened. Did they knew about this already? Have they always been aware of this? And what was it about the queen _being a sorceress_?

As much as Chanyeol wanted answers, his duty was to take Baekhyun away from the prying eyes and danger from the people inside the hall.

He could see Baekhyun shaking from everywhere. _His lips, his eyes, his hands_. He never saw Baekhyun this frightened, this disoriented - and all Chanyeol wanted to do was to hug him and tell him everything's going to be alright.

But Chanyeol knew it wasn't. Deep inside him, he knew this was just the start of something awful that's bound to happen.

 

 

IV.

Chanyeol barely had enough time to let Baekbeom and the King's words sink in to him, explaining what really happened in the banquet hall, before he and Baekhyun were being ushered into a small carriage, where they will be taken into a cottage deep in an abandoned forest for hiding.

The kingdom was divided. People wanted answers. They wanted to see Baekhyun. They wanted to know if they were safe under the king's ruling. They wanted to know what Baekhyun was capable of doing.

Baekbeom and the King knew that this day come, and they did everything to prevent it. The King told Chanyeol about the late Queen, about her powers that involves controlling the light - manipulating and generating it - similar to what Baekhyun did. The King knew that either one of his sons will get those powers, and he admitted that he wished it would be Baekbeom, believing that prince showed more potential in controlling it.

Baekbeom's 21st birthday came, but there were no signs of him having the same power as his mother, and the King knew by then that it was only a matter of years before Baekhyun's abilities manifest. While the queen was still carrying Baekhyun, he warned the King that strong emotions would awaken either of his son's abilities. That's why the King made sure to keep Baekhyun inside the castle for as long as he can, preventing him from going out until they could discover his powers and find a way to suppress it.

 _But why?_ Chanyeol wanted to ask. _Why did they have to hide it from Baekhyun?_ Sure the prince might have been reckless at times and acted on instinct - but that doesn't mean he wasn't capable of handling something like this. Maybe if they didn't hide it, Baekhyun would've taken better control of his powers rather than show it to the whole castle because he lashed out to his father.

And now, instead of letting Baekhyun show to everyone that he wasn't a threat, to let him have a better grasp of his powers, the King decided to send him far away so they could fix everything without Baekhyun's involvement, without asking for his opinion. _Again._

Chanyeol's thoughts were cut off when the carriage took a full stop. Chanyeol had no idea where they were taken, as the windows of the carriage were blocked by planks of wood. All he knew was that they had to stay in the cottage until the king sends a raven for their return.

The carriage was dark save for the little light that passed through the hinges on the carriage's roof. I  front of him was the prince, curled in his seat, lightly snoring while wrapped around in his favorite blanket.

Chanyeol removed the sword on his lap and kneeled in front of Baekhyun. 

He gently grazed his thumb on the skin beneath Baekhyun's eyes, knowing that the trails of his tears are still there even in the darkness.

When the prince found out about his temporary banishment, he spent the remaining days locked up in his chamber - even Chanyeol wasn't allowed to enter. On the day he finally stepped out, Chanyeol's heart sank. Baekhyun's eyes were sore and red, his cheeks were puffed and patches of tear stains evident on his face.

It took Chanyeol ounces of self-control to not grab Baekhyun and hug him right then and there, in front of the King and for everyone to see.

He wanted to tell Baekhyun so badly that he didn't see him any different, that he didn't have to lock him out as well, that he could reach out to him, that he could call out his name and cry in front of him.

He wanted to tell Baekhyun that no matter what happens in the end, even if everyone would turn their back against thim, Chanyeol would stay by his side.

And even if his light becomes too blinding, Chanyeol would never get tired of reaching out to him and finding him, he will be his guide, the voice he could follow and the hand he could hold on to pull him back where he belongs.

Chanyeol would be the darkness that Baekhyun could find peace in, _even just for a moment,_ when everything around him burns too bright.

 

 

V.

The prince settled in quickly much faster than Chanyeol had expected.

Baekhyun didn’t seem the least bothered by how small the cottage was, or how the bed could barely fit the two of them, or how it gets way too cold at night, or how his usual festive dinner turned into simple dishes instead.

It was clear that this was the kind of life Baekhyun had always wanted to live. Free from the people who watch and judge his every move, people who would never stop following him around, and free from the responsibilities of being the king’s son. Even though the reason he was asked to left the kingdom was because of his powers, Baekhyun saw it the other way around – it was a blessing in disguise.

The prince was happy – and Chanyeol was, _should be_ , happy as well, if it weren’t for the things that bothered him now that they were alone. Not that he’s complaining or anything. It was everything Chanyeol had hoped and wished for – something he only saw in his dreams.

But the price of this dream come true came in the form of Baekhyun breaking every inch of his self-control. Each time he woke up with Baekhyun huddled next to him, lips almost brushing on Chanyeol’s exposed neck, hands around his waist – all Chanyeol wanted to do was to hug him tighter, closer, until there were no space left between the two of them.

His resolve went weaker as days passed by, becoming more and more aware of Baekhyun’s presence inside their little space and Chanyeol could only pray that he wouldn’t break.

It didn’t take long before Chanyeol got into a position that was the total opposite of what he prayed for.

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol called out softly.

“Shh, just a second,” Baekhyun whispered, “Keep your eyes closed. I’m almost done.”

Chanyeol gulped. This wasn’t what Chanyeol expected when Baekhyun asked him to ‘come to bed with him and blow off all the candles’. By the time he indulged the prince to do it, half-expecting something else, Baekhyun told him about something he discovered he could do from his powers.

Chanyeol was the one who encouraged Baekhyun to practice controlling his powers so he could prove to everyone when he comes back that he was nowhere near being a threat. Because of this, Baekhyun spent most of his free time figuring out the extent of his powers and it didn’t take long before Chanyeol saw the results. Aside from generating light from his hands, Baekhyun also discovered that it could turn into a powerful attack if he directed it to something (or someone) – Chanyeol was amazed and scared at the same time, but he never told Baekhyun about the latter. He didn’t want Baekhyun to think he saw him any different.

“At the count of three, I want you to open your eyes. Alright, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol nodded, but quickly responded with a “Yes” when he realized they were sitting in complete darkness and Baekhyun couldn’t see him.

“Okay, 1…2…3…”

When Chanyeol opened his eyes, Baekhyun was sitting in front of him, hands moving in the air as if conducting an invisible orchestra. Above and around them were light orbs of different colors, floating and dancing in some sort of rhythm, according to the movement of Baekhyun’s hands.

“C-can I touch it?” Chanyeol asked, fingers already reaching for the colourful spheres around them.

Baekhyun gave him a wide grin before moving his hands close together, the orbs following suit, surrounding both of them.

Chanyeol sat up and ran his hands on the wall of light around him. The orbs rippled like water, but it came back from its original form once Chanyeol’s fingers passed through it.

“Do you like it?” Baekhyun asked.

Chanyeol looked at him with a big smile plastered on his face. “Like it? Are you kidding? This is the best thing I’ve seen in my life! _I love it_!”

Chanyeol watched with his mouth hung low as the orbs slowly ascend into the ceiling, creating a curtain of colourful reflections around the cottage.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun watched in comfortable silence as the orbs move above them before fading out one by one. By the time they were enveloped in darkness, Baekhyun clasped his hands and created a single ball of light just enough to illuminate the space he and Chanyeol shared.

“You don’t think it’s weird?” Baekhyun said out of the blue, breaking Chanyeol’s trance. “You don’t think I’m a monster?”

Chanyeol felt an unpleasant feeling crawl up from his gut. The voice of that man who called Baekhyun a monster echoed inside his head, loud and clear.

He should have cut his throat when he had the chance, before he planted an idea in Baekhyun that should have never existed in the first place.

Baekhyun who only wanted a simple life, to keep learning, to go beyond the walls of the castle and explore a world he himself could step into - but in an instant was reduced into horrible names, names that everyone feasted on as they feed each other one lie to another, not even thinking what Baekhyun must have felt, not knowing what he was capable of, not knowing his real identity, even his mother whom he thought he knew so well.

He remembered Baekhyun inside his chamber, alone, scared of what people could do to him, scared of himself, of what he could do, of what he couldn't control. And no one was there to tell him that it was okay, that there was nothing to be afraid of, that there are people who loved him unconditionally, that his power doesn't make him any different. And even if they take everything from him - Baekhyun will always be the same person Chanyeol had loved through the years.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol reached out for his hands and wrapped his fingers around it. “You’re not a monster.” Chanyeol brought Baekhyun’s hand on his mouth and kissed the pads of his palm. He felt Baekhyun’s fingers trembled on the contact and it took a second before Chanyeol realized what he had done.

His eyes shot up and saw Baekhyun looking at him in a way he never did before.

Chanyeol quickly let go of the prince’s hand, shifting away. “I – I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-,“ He couldn’t finish his sentence, words stuck on his throat, his heart beating rapidly on his chest as he stood up.

Before he could take one step further, Baekhyun held his wrist. 

“Why are you running away?”

_Why am I running away?_

That was the same question Chanyeol had asked himself for so many years. The same question that keeps him up at night, wondering if loving someone was meant to hurt like this. If longing for Baekhyun was meant to be kept inside the deepest, darkest part of his heart and never to be revealed even on his last breath. If staying beside him, as his knight was all he will ever be, and he'd have to watch Baekhyun get married some day, leave the castle for good, and never come back - and he'd be so far away Chanyeol will not be able to follow him anymore. 

"Chanyeol.." 

Maybe it was the way Baekhyun's voice sounded, the way Chanyeol had called his name in his head so many times, or the way Baekhyun's hand tightened around his wrist, like how he imagined his hand on Baekhyun's, pulling him towards him - that Chanyeol finally heard the glass breaking, the walls around him falling apart, the treasure chest he had buried deep inside him resurfaced, and he no longer held the key in opening it.  
  
"I was scared," Chanyeol said shakily, staring blankly in the darkness. "I was scared that if I tell you about my feelings, you'd shut me out and, and -" His vision started to blur, warm tears falling down his cheek before he could stop them.  
  
"I was really content you know?" Chanyeol said with an empty smile. "I was content of having to stay by your side, on being your knight, of enjoying the little privilege I had. But sometimes I can't stop thinking - I can't stop thinking how much I want to touch you, to hold your hand, to hug you any chance I could take, to kiss you, to do things I know I shouldn't do...To be more than just your knight, and it felt so wrong, and-"

His words were cut off with Baekhyun throwing himself at him, wrapping his arms on his waist,  burying his face on the crook between Chanyeol's neck and shoulder. The contact brought another wave of emotions inside Chanyeol, it felt so good and painful and unreal and scary - to finally have Baekhyun this close to him, to be in a place he never thought he'd stand upon, to hear Baekhyun's heartbeat finally in sync with his.

"You were never just my knight." Baekhyun whispered, squeezing him tighter.

"I was scared too. I was scared that you only see me as a prince, as a responsibility, as an order. And you had no choice but to stay with me. And if I say or do something stupid, you'll turn away and leave me behind." Baekhyun said between sniffs and hiccups, Chanyeol feeling the dampness on his shirt.

"And just the thought of not seeing you, of not hearing your voice, of not having you by my side, hurts so much. I couldn't take it. I thought, at least if I have you as my knight, you wouldn't have to leave me."

With a quick turn, Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun into a tight hug, one hand on his shoulder and the other on his waist. He squeezed him tighter, trying to make up with all the years and missed chances he should've taken to wrap the prince around his arms.

It was one thing to finally admit his feelings for the prince, but to hear those words from Baekhyun himself, to have him in his arms like this, to know that all the pain and tears he endured and the sacrifices he was willing to take all pointed to this moment, Chanyeol felt like his heart was going to burst. 

"I'll never leave you, Baekhyun." Chanyeol slightly pulling himself away to look at Baekhyun before planting a kiss on the prince's forehead. "I'll be where you want me to be. I'll follow you wherever you go."

Baekhyun gripped the back of his shirt and met Chanyeol's gaze. "Then swear on it. Swear that you'll never leave my side."

Without hesitation, Chanyeol let go of him and got down on one knee, one hand on his back and the other reaching out to thread on Baekhyun's hand before kissing the space between his knuckles.

"I will shield your back, and keep your counsel, and give my life for yours if need be. I will never leave your side for as long as there's air in my lungs. I swear it by the old gods and the new."

Baekhyun wiped his tears and stood firmly in front of Chanyeol. 

"And I vow that you will be the only person who will have my heart, my trust, my soul. I pledge to ask no service of you that may bring you dishonor. I swear it by the old gods and the new," Baekhyun finished. "Arise."

Chanyeol stood up with a new found confidence rushing through his blood.

He cupped both of Baekhyun's cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun rasped, tipping his head, eyes locking on him. " _My knight_."

" _My prince_ ," Chanyeol brought his hand down and ran his thumb on Baekhyun's lips, feeling the warmth and shakiness of his breath against his skin. "Baekhyun."

And then their lips finally found each other, like how their hearts did. And the spark Chanyeol had kept in for so long spread out like wildfire inside him, consuming all his doubts and fears, leaving nothing but the blissful aftermath of their promise, the exchange of their oaths and the gods being their only witnesses, knowing that from this day onward - Baekhyun was his, and he belonged to Baekhyun.

And even in the darkness, Chanyeol's world have never been so bright.

 

VI.

There was this one painting that caught Chanyeol's attention back when he was asked by Baekhyun to accompany him in the castle's library.

While the prince busied himself with a book that has collections of short stories, Chanyeol skimmed through a gigantic book filled with paintings as big as its pages.

Unlike the prince, Chanyeol was no artist. He couldn't describe a piece into words, the way Baekhyun made it sound like poetry when he tried to explain one. He couldn't point out and interpret symbols scattered around the canvas, thinking it was merely there to fill the space. He couldn't find the meaning beyond what his eyes could see, only seeing it as a whole, either it was beautiful or not. Simple as that.

But as he reached through the end of the book, one painting made him stop from turning the page.

"Paradise", the title read.

Compared to the grotesque and overly-cluttered paintings he previously passed through, the painting gave off a light feeling Chanyeol couldn't explain.

On one side of the painting were two men with musical instruments, one with a harp and the other one with a violin, their closed eyes suggested that they were pouring their heart out into their performance. On the other side were three women dressed in colorful robes, forming a circle with their hands above their heads that Chanyeol deduced as dancing to the music provided by the two men. In the middle was a long table, filled with towering amount of fruits, wine and plated food. There were nine people gathered around it, two of them raising their wine glasses in the air, the other three laughing, another pair who seemed to be sharing some deep secret together and the rest were happily gobbling the food in front of them. The painting took place in a vast garden, huge trees behind them and a few bushes with brightly-colored flowers scattered around.

Everything looked so perfect, everyone looked so happy, Chanyeol wondered if this was what paradise would really look like. 

He wasn't as religious as his father, but he remembered him saying that paradise do exist after death, after all their sins had been cleansed, and that everyday would be an endless feast, free from any troubles and worries.

The image was still clear on his head and sometimes Chanyeol would dream about that place, but instead of himself dancing with the women, or playing along with the men and their instruments, or eating his heart out on the table - he would dream of this place with Baekhyun, walking right next to him, the sunlight from behind him giving him a golden glow as he talk about something passionately while he held Chanyeol's hand. And despite it being a good dream, he knew well enough that paradise was out of his reach. 

Not until now.

Paradise was waking up next to Baekhyun, watching his eyes slowly open and lazily smile up at him, his voice still husky as he greet him 'Good Morning'.

Paradise was Baekhyun slipping his arms around Chanyeol's waist while he was busy cooking their lunch, pressing his face on his back while he hummed and gently swayed their bodies together.

Paradise was Baekhyun underneath him, writhing his body in a mixture of pain and pleasure as Chanyeol moved inside him, his hands tight around Chanyeol's neck, whispering how good he feels inside, riling him up to fill him again and again so Baekhyun could still feel him in the morning. 

Paradise was Baekhyun lying on Chanyeol's lap while he read a book, and Chanyeol running his fingers into his hair.

Paradise was where Baekhyun was and it didn't matter where they are.

“I don't ever want to leave this place, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said to him after watching Chanyeol train with his sword. "Not ever."

Maybe it was seeing Chanyeol holding his sword again that Baekhyun was reminded that this was anything but permanent. Chanyeol knew it wasn't  _just words_. It was a request, a call to possibility, another distant reach to something probably far more unattainable.

He ended up nodding and kissing Baekhyun's hair, promising he'd think about it.

The promise was soon forgotten upon the arrival of a raven, perched on one of their windows the next day.

It was nowhere bigger than the size of Chanyeol's palm, but its presence had clawed its way to their safe haven, swallowing the image of Chanyeol's paradise. 

Baekhyun, on the other hand, refused to acknowledge the bird's presence and went on with his daily routine.

Chanyeol didn't say anything at first, hoping that Baekhyun would be the one to personally bring it up. He knew Baekhyun needed time to adjust and to prepare, and Chanyeol could wait until he was ready.

But days passed by and Baekhyun never once mentioned it as if the bird didn't exist at all. 

When Baekhyun opened up the possibility of faking their own death over dinner, Chanyeol snapped.

"There's a raven outside our window, Baekhyun. A raven from your father, who's worried sick about you. And you're here joking about faking your own death."

The words came out harsher than Chanyeol wanted it to beseeing the way Baekhyun's smile turned placid, but he needed to do this, he needed Baekhyun to wake up.

"I thought you said that you'll never leave my side." 

"I'm still here." 

"But you want to leave." Baekhyun said, voice getting louder.

"Baekhyun-"

" _Y_ _ou swore_. You swore you'd follow me anywhere."

"Baekhyun, you're still a prince. And I'm still a knight. And we have duties-"

Baekhyun raised his eyes at him. "Duties? Is this... Is this what it _has always been to you_?" 

"You know that's not true." Chanyeol said fiercely, but there was an underlying calmness in his tone, knowing it was just Baekhyun's anger speaking.

Baekhyun's hard expression softened as he absorbed Chanyeol's words. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, biting down his trembling lips and quickly wiping the tear that fell on his cheek. 

Chanyeol almost threw his chair back as he rushed towards Baekhyun, turning him around on his shoulder before kneeling down in front of him. "Baekhyun..."

There was an uneven turn in Chanyeol's stomach, a wave of regret at the realization that they were running out of time, that that they were going back to the castle, back to their duties, back to the walls that separated Chanyeol from Baekhyun.

Maybe he should have taken Baekhyun's words a bit more seriously. Maybe before bringing up the topic of returning into the castle, Chanyeol should have considered the idea of them running away. Maybe ignoring the raven was the right thing to do after all.

He wrapped his hands around Baekhyun's, peppering soft kisses on his skin. 

"I don't want to go back there." Baekhyun pleaded, words coming out between his hiccups. "I don't want us to go back from what we were before."

"We're not." Chanyeol tightened his grip on Baekhyun as he looked up on him. "You're not going to lose me, my prince. I'm never leaving your side, remember?"

"B-but-"

"We're going to tell your father about us."

Baekhyun's eyes widened, first from shock, and then the realization of what Chanyeol was offering. "Chanyeol, y-you can't. We can't. My father will not allow it-" 

Chanyeol could hear the panic from Baekhyun's voice, his fingers struggling to get out from Chanyeol's hold - but the knight didn't let him. "Then we'll leave with or without his blessing. We'll go far away from the palace, farther from here. Where no one knows you as a prince and we'll spend the rest of our lives like this..."

"But you'll lose everything. You're a knight. That's - that's what you've always wanted."

"And I did my part. I served the king, I protected the kingdom, its people. Now, it's my turn to protect you."  While it's true that it had always been Chanyeol's dream to serve the King, to follow the footsteps of his father, there was no denying that if asked to make a choice, he would always choose the Prince, whatever the consequence it may be. "There's nothing for me to lose as long as you're here with me."

It was enough for Baekhyun to silently nod his head, a smile finally forming on his lips. Chanyeol smiled back and caressed his cheek before planting a soft kiss on Baekhyun's lips.

Chanyeol stood up and wrapped his arms around Baekhyun, the latter quickly hugging him back just as tight.

The knight looked back into the window where the raven was perched, still waiting and still watching them - as if it always knew that they would cave in one day. Its red eyes seeing beyond the paradise and the wall they've built, knowing that at the end of the day, a knight is a knight and a prince is a prince, and they have a kingdom to protect and rule and nobody could change that.

Chanyeol pressed Baekhyun closer to his chest, all he could do now is hope and pray that all things go well. That in this life, the gods wrote a different story for them. In this life, maybe the prince could end up with a knight. In this life, maybe - _just maybe -_ the gods were able to hear their vows and forge them a way to the paradise that Chanyeol had always dreamed of.

 

VII.

"Ah-" Baekhyun shivered under the cloak that covered almost the entirety of his face, the wind blowing harshly towards their way as they walked into forest and the light from Baekhyun's lamp the only thing guiding their way. 

"We should've waited for another day. The wind is too strong." Chanyeol said, pulling Baekhyun closer to him, hands firm on Baekhyun's and hoped it was enough to provide warmth for both of them for the moment.

Baekhyun squeezed his hand back. "It's alright. I wanted this to be over as soon as possible." 

They still had to walk another kilometer to reach the hill where a horse would be waiting for them, as written on the letter attached on the raven's claw. After spending another day without leaving each other's side, the Prince finally made the decision to go back home and see his father and his brother one last time - before they leave the castle for good. 

There's an itch behind Chanyeol's head, something he couldn't quite put off. It was as if their roles had reversed and now, he was the one hesitating their journey back home. He didn't want to tell the Prince about this, knowing he had already made up his mind and changing it would definitely upset Baekhyun. But there was something about the wind, the darkness of the night, the moon nowhere to be seen that worried the Knight. 

He unconsciously held the sword strapped around his waist, paying full attention on the hand he's holding and their surroundings.

Baekhyun was in the middle of listing down the dishes he wanted to eat once he get back when Chanyeol heard a snap of wood, making them stop on their tracks.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol tightened his grip on Baekhyun's prince, dragging him on his back before pulling out his sword. "Stay close to me."

The prince held Chanyeol's robe, following the Knight's movement as he slowly circled around where they stood, eyes trained to see any movement from behind the trees that towered above them.

The leaves rustled and there emerged four men, surrounding the Prince and the Knight with daggers on their hands. 

"M'Lord, we don't mean to scare you," A man said, his accent slurry as he bravely took a step forward in front of Chanyeol, twirling his knife between his fingers. "We only want the prince."

Chanyeol felt Baekhyun press himself closer to his back, his robe bunched under Baekhyun's tight grip.

Chanyeol pointed his sword towards the man who approached him. "Who are you? Who sent you?"

"Doesn't ma'er who sent us. We want him," Another man spoke, gesturing to the prince behind him. "Almost thought you weren't going to show up. That beauty got a huge price on his head. Give 'im to us and no blood will be spilled." 

 _A price?_ Since when did Baekhyun became a prey for them to hunt on? Chanyeol's nose flared, raising his arm in front of Baekhyun - giving his clear answer to the four men.

"A'right then, you want this hard way?" The man who first approached him lowered his body, dagger firm on his hand as he signaled the other three to charge in. "I want the prince alive."

Another strong gust of the wind and the three simultaneously charged to their position, Chanyeol quickly pushing Baekhyun towards the tree trunk behind them. 

"Chanyeol!"

Chanyeol ducked as one man swung his dagger, completely opening his chest to the knight who put his full strength into slashing his stomach upto his throat, a disgruntled cry escaping the man's lips as he fell into the ground.

"You bastard!" The man jabbed his dagger in the air hurriedly towards Chanyeol who was quick to take a few steps back, barely escaping the blade that targeted his neck.

Using his free arm, Chanyeol grabbed the outstretched hand of the man and pulled him towards him, swiftly sinking the sword on his chest, before throwing him into the side.

He barely caught his breathe when he heard Baekhyun shout, "Look out!"

Before Chanyeol could raise his sword, a streak of white light went past him, throwing the man behind him into the tree with a loud thud.

Chanyeol looked behind him and saw Baekhyun's hand glowing, raised towards his direction.

The sound of the dagger dropping on the floor made Chanyeol and Baekhyun looked back to the last man standing. His eyes flickered back and forth between them, slowly backing away and stumbling on his feet as he ran away from, disappearing into the darkness without a word.

The wind had stopped and the adrenaline rush finally caught up with Chanyeol, collapsing on the ground with one knee, his sword acting as his support as he thrust it on the ground.

Baekhyun quickly rushed to his side. "W-what happened? Are you hurt somewhere?" 

"I'm fine. Just - a little out of practice." Chanyeol replied, looking at the three bodies around them, barely lit by the lamp in the distance. "I'm sorry you had to see this."

Baekhyun followed where Chanyeol was looking and immediately shook his head. "It's nothing," He said softly, wiping the blood on Chanyeol's cheek. "Thank you for protecting me."

"Anything for you," Chanyeol said, kissing the hand on his shoulder.

He looked back to where the man ran into the forest and suddenly felt cold as the realizations of what happened sunk in.

_Who sent those men? How did they know they were heading this way?  Who told them about their location, about the Prince's hiding?_

And then it hit him.

_The raven._

It wasn't sent by the King. If he did, a carriage would have been sent on their way as their expected arrival was not met. Another raven should have been sent to assure their safety and if they received the message - but only one came in and stayed.

They knew about their return from the very beginning, they were waiting. It was all a trap and they walked straight to it.

Chanyeol looked up from where he was kneeling, Baekhyun smiling down at him as he offered him his hand to help him up, the Heavenstone dangling slightly on his chest.

A swift, airy sound made Chanyeol's hand pause in mid air as he reached for Baekhyun fingertips.

An arrow was struck right into Baekhyun's chest.

"C-Chanyeol?" Baekhyun's voice trembled as he took a few steps back, hand hovering around the arrow that pierced through him. 

Chanyeol's whole body went rigid, words caught up in his throat as he watched another arrow landed right next to the first one - making the Prince stumble further away from him.

The world seemed to slow down as Baekhyun fell into his knees, his body arching up as another arrow struck him just below his collar bone. 

"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol yelled, hands fumbling on the soil beneath him as he crawled towards the prince.

Chanyeol's arm circled around Baekhyun's back before he could fall.

Baekhyun coughed, eyes flinching as he looked past Chanyeol and into the dark sky above them.

Chanyeol gently cupped his cheek, "Baekhyun, look at me..."

Baekhyun's breathing turned into short gasps as he slowly tilted his head. "Chanyeol..." 

"Shh, shh - You'll be okay," Chanyeol's fingers trembled on Baekhyun's back as he tried to pull him closer. "You listen to me, Baekhyun.  _You'll be okay.  You hear me?_ We're not that far from the cottage yet - we have everything we need to patch you up. You just need to save your breathe. Just - stay with me, _please._ "

"Chanyeol," He whispered, hands reaching out to the corner of Chanyeol's eyes, brushing his tears away. "We shouldn't have left that place..."

"We shouldn't have. You're right,  _you're right._ " Chanyeol said, holding onto Baekhyun's hand. "We'll go back there and we'll never leave. I promise - just - just stay with me, Baekhyun. Please. Don't leave me..."

With his remaining strength, Baekhyun weakly tugged the Heavenstone from his neck, snapping the string into two.

He pulled Chanyeol's hand and placed the pendant on his palm, a halo of white light trapped between their hands.

"Keep me close to your heart, _my knight_." Baekhyun smiled, eyes fluttering to a close as his hand slipped away from Chanyeol's grasp.

 

 

_The light flickered; fading out, slowly and then completely - engulfing his surroundings with total darkness taking Chanyeol's heart along with it._

**Author's Note:**

> *cue in 'For You' by CBX*
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> Please, please leave your thoughts!! I would really appreciate it :) I already have plans for the next part - please look forward to it.


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